Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Sihaya_Bunny's LiveJournal:

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Monday, April 3rd, 2006
2:30 pm	A world of woes It's amazing that the closest people to you can hurt you the most. The things they say can slice through any self worth or self esteme you have built up for yourself. They leave you with nothing. Sorrow and sadness. Current Mood: disappointed (Comment on this)
Friday, December 16th, 2005
11:46 am	Nine more days until Christmas Truth be told I've never been the one to stay constant in updating journals or diaries- suffice to say I've decided to try to update it at least one a week...maybe it would be safer to say once a month though. I am very excited for Christmas. That being said I'm finding it hard to maintain that level of excitement with the new family I have decided to spend Christmas with this year. My own family has always cherished Christmas as a time of love, excitement and warmth. Our entire family comes to town, my mother hosts the family feast of turkey and other yummy treats and it is mandatory that you come dressed to the nines. My father started the traditions of our house and I love them, I really do. Sorry for those of you out there taking a mild offense to these next comments but there is nothing classy about sitting down to a turkey dinner with paper plates and sweat pants. Or maybe it's just the way I've been raised. I doubt if there has been a year that my brothers and I slept in until 9am on Christmas morning- it's just not something that happens. I think if you take all those special little things out of the holiday you loose the magic of those precious moments. The silver wear, the tree, the family, the dresses and suits- these may be trivial to others who claim "we still have a wonderful Christmas without those luxuries" and my God, there is truth in that. You don't need those things to experience what I feel on Christmas, but I am just saying from a personal standpoint that I do love the niceties of it all. I think even if we didn't have those things every year we'd still make it a magical experience. It's the love and excitement that my family will always cling to and make the occasions special. I'm just finding that living in a house where Christmas is almost forgotten is disheartening to an extent. I decorated a tree by myself while the rest of the family watched TV. I didn't honestly mind that much, but the situation disturbed me somewhat. There is no magic in just decorating a tree- because then it's just a tree. My father and I have decorated the Christmas tree since I was a little girl. That is tradition. We do the lights fist, and there is a system to how it is done. Then the beaded garland, then the ornaments, bulbs, and finally the icicle tinsel. (My mother always does that last part.) I've been scolded by a few people in my lifetime who say that I put too much stock in Christmas and that I am missing the point. Religious reasons aside (since they are not part of my life) I think I have grasped the point more so than they have. Most people who spurn my love for Christmas are trying to tell me that all the glitter and glamor doesn't matter. Yes this is very true. But they never continue on through that statement- I always wait for the next sentence to arrive, but it never does....should it be about family? or perhaps the unfortunate people of the world who can't afford to celebrate Christmas, or perhaps to be considerate to those who do not celebrate it at all? Yes those would be great reasons...but I've never been given them. Am I, therefore, expected to assume that the only reasons these few people have to judge me so bitterly is that they are jealous of the amount of love I give and receive during this strange holiday, that they think that I am spoiled in Traditions? Perhaps, I do not doubt that my fortunate family is, more or less, disliked for their prosperity. All this being said it doesn't really bother me much at all. I don't feel bad for how I feel, and only feel sorry for those around me who are jealous. They clearly do not know the circumstances of my family's way of life, and how it came to be. Explaining all this would justify a need to defend my family, and I have no need to do that- but I will say this whatever anyone may think, my dad has worked very hard to be where he is. Anyhoo, I can't wait to see the look on everyones faces when I give them their presents this year!!!! Heheheh, it'll be awesome! Oh, and I hope I get an MP3 Player....yay! I wish everyone a merry christmas, a pleasant holiday adn a relaxing vacation. Current Mood: chipper (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 7th, 2005
2:12 pm	Somewhere over the rainbow I always liked SodaPop. Current Mood: melancholy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 4th, 2005
9:25 am	Blip! So we came into work this morning and James pointed out to me that one of the guys who works here (and has been a friend to James) desk was cleared... Curious I asked "second in command" of the the studio what happened. He said that the guy left the company...I asked if he had "Abandoned Ship!!!" I'm getting really excited to go home!! I'm thinking about it every day now...it's going to be very fun. I'm going to miss James and the "moo's" very much...but I'm still excited. I phoned mom and asked her elongate my trip since I won't have a job to go back to...so now I'm staying until the 28th or 29th a good two full weeks. I can't wait to drive up to Penticton with my grandma and mom....it's going to be a blast!!!! I'm also very excited to visit Kelly and any one else I can squeeze in!!! yay! Oh....our landlord changed our shower head and it sucks... :P Current Mood: cheerful (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005
9:51 am	Soul-Sucking This place can be a very dark and unfriendly place at times. I am beginning to worry about James...the pressure to astound and "wow" the company, peers and outsourced employers has pulled him down into the pit of dispare. He's tired all the time. Drained and unhappy, sad eyes, and his creativity is malnurished beyond all recognition. He seems to be constantly checking to make sure he's not the one who's last doing his scenes...which is understandable- no one wants to be the "slow" kid in the class...the same rules apply here too. I don't know what to say to make him feel better, and to quiet his fears...the fact of the matter is that since day one of this project it's been a game of musical chairs. At some point everyone has been behinde - and this week it is James. But last week it was another guy, and the weeks before another...it's not unrealistic to assume that he will pull through this week of hell- and next week it'll be someone else. It's just....all that doesn't help when you are feeling like shit about yourslef and your work. Al I can really do is be there for him when he needs me. I'm going away for about 10 days - 2 weeks and hopefully within that time James will have a chance to work on his portfolio or just be able to draw what he wants, when he wants. I hope this all works out.... Current Mood: discontent (Comment on this)
Monday, May 2nd, 2005
4:04 pm	Contrary-Wise So.... I'm coming out for a visit on the 14th- to the -23rd of May, though it may be longer because I was layed-off...not that I mind, also he's been flip-flopping about this for four weeks now so ya... meh.... I'm going home!!!! Woot! So excited. Our one year anniversary is coming up and I have no idea what to get James....and it's not like I can take him anywhere or vise-versa.....We're probably going to Moncton to stay in a hotel over night and go out for dinner- but that's about all we can afford.... poo! Current Mood: chipper (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 27th, 2005
12:42 pm	I'm Just a Little Black Rain Cloud...... Meh.... Today looks how I feel. The weather isn't doing anything, it's existing... It's grey and overcast and a little chilly, but it won't rain, and it won't clear up. The clouds are strange here...they don't have any shapes...which is strange for me. In BC the clouds have texture and color. Dark greys, reds, pinks, yellows....the sunset is odd here too. I'm at work and obviously I have none to do.... I finished half of a lipsync this morning that I had saved from yesterday- and oddly it was approved right away from my new supervisor. So I'm just sort of sitting here.... I have an hour until lunch and then the folks at Copernicus and Smilie-Guy come to beat us into submission. I wonder if I'll even be let into the meeting...The Boss tends to hide me from people...like he knows that he looks like an idiot when he explains my title...then my job- and the clients know they don't match up... It's like a round peg in a square hole. Mom asked me again when I was coming home to visit... I really want to go home... But there is this underlying guilt. What about James? What about the Kitties? What happens if Jame's grandpa dies suddenly...and then what? Oh I talked to James and he says he's fine with it....but I'm not too sure... I phoned Dad today at work and he said that if Mom came out then it would be easier for both of us... I know that's true but I wanted to go home to see home, and all the family....so I'm not sure... Anyways I told him to tell Mom to phone me later on this evening....so I guess we'll see. Matt took some amazing pictures of the Zen Garden and I think everyone should go take a look. Hummmmm.... Not much else to report....I think it's kind of funny though that I'm considereing asking for part-time now...instead of them using it as a threat.... Current Mood: blah (Comment on this)
Monday, April 25th, 2005
2:55 pm	"And Then..." she said "And Then..." Well... I've been notified that I am to be reduced to "Part-Time" which I have no doubt will be reduced again to "Layed-Off" in a short while. I went into JA's office (I'll be reffering to the "Boss" as JA which stands for Jack Ass from now on) to give some helpful suggestions... For example in the last few weeks people have been having troubles keeping track of their seconds. I suggested that I help the supervisors out and just count peoples seconds. In the middle of my suggestion he blurted out: "Ya, I just don't think we can keep you on full-time anymore...we've got no fucking work for you" ... I was so irked that he wasn't listening to my suggestion and bringing this up out of the blue that I snapped at him a little. Me: "Ya, okay, but I'm talking about this right now...so can I get your attention on it?!" He conceded to hear me out then when we were finished I brought up my job situation. I basically said to him to let me know when he decides... I went and told James who was rather quiet and said that the day was too much to handle- which I agreed with. I sat in my office for a while, realizing that I couldn't care less if I was fired today or layed-off tomorrow. I was just irritated with this ass-hat. I went back into his office and asked him what was his definition of "part-time" He turned to me and said: "I don't know, I have to figure it out. But it's expensive to have you sit on your ass." I looked at him stunned. JA: "HEY I'm just telling the truth" .... Huh. Current Mood: "Huh..." (Comment on this)
12:36 pm	The Sky Is Falling .... Hahahahah! Ohhhh, .... Today all the metaphors for "enough is enough" merged as one. Monday means meeting for OJJ people. The people who run the show are coming down to show us how to do this project the "right way". *Just a tiny suggestion but perhaps this would have been more useful before the series has started.* We have two days before they come. We were given a seating arrangements. People were pulled aside to be talked to. I think it's time to move. Current Mood: Blown Away (Comment on this)
Friday, April 22nd, 2005
3:45 pm	The Cone of Ignorance For lunch today the gang decided to go to JJ for some greasy and disgusting, food, I folded like a cheap cot and agreed to go. I picked at the most unappetizing pasta dish the cooks could think of; and tried to suppress the unimaginable heartburn that was slowly creeping up on me. The company however was very enjoyable. We laughed all throughout lunch making cracks and jokes; with a never ending ocean of topics. I was truly enjoying myself....though every now and then I'd look down the table and see all the other happy faces, then hit "the boss". Who sat there with a scowl on his face the entire time like a spoiled petulant child. What a dick. On the ride home James commented on the fact that he'd be coming in on Saturday, his fellow animator commented the same...the man driving us who is the 'second in command' decided to speak out of his ass and say a few words. I swear to god and all the other deities within hearing range that these jokers have their heads so firmly up their asses that they can't breathe properly and the lack of oxygen is causing severe mental damage. He said shit like "well i guess we all don't need fucking jobs" to james & Co's response to their weekly quotas.  I'd like to reminde our audience that this isn't James & I just whining for the sake of it...this is everyone in the building getting fucked up the ass. James& Co tried to explain that we have over the "high" limit of normal animation studios....his retort "says' who?!" James: "Says me!" HIM: "well I've met my quota, but you guys are just sitting around all day fucking doodling and drawing pictures" **(what the audience doesn't know was that "HIM" was in FRANCE last week, schmoozing and drinking with Parisians, and asking people for business cards***  By this point I had to say something....I put in my two cents making a crack and "the boss's" speech from the beginning of the week... "Ya,  why haven't you been managing your time?!" James & Co gave me a look of utter hate for the speech I was referring to- it was just so ridiculous to even say...I still can't believe he said it. The silent bickering went on until we were back at work... While walking up the stairs I turned around and said one final thing to "HIM" in regards to last weeks quota " ya I guess it's wouldn't have been too hard to pull it off, except that it was 70 seconds of animation per person and it was given to us wednesday which gave us 3 days to finish it." I know it's a lost cause but I can't help but say something to these morons. Honestly it's all hear-say here. This knob thinks he knows what he's talking about- but the ass-hat hasn't even been in the country since the project started. I'm blown away by the magnitude of ignorance that is demonstrated daily by the people who are supposed to be running this circus. Truly stunned. Current Mood: discontent (Comment on this)
10:12 am	More Hey, here are some more pictures.... Now wait a minute.....these are special because you get to see grass and soil without snow. Oooooo....Aaaahhhhhhhh Daylight, grass, trees, it's a miracle! And James being silly..... So there you go folks....talk to you later. Current Mood: calm (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 21st, 2005
12:58 pm	SAM Here are the pictures (only 3) of Sam, sorry the scanner we used isn't the greatest..... Hehe, I love the last picture...James made his hair inot a faux-hawk. He's a lighter grey than the pictures make him look, but check out the pictures again and look at his two front paws...he has 7 toes on them. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
11:45 am	PICTURES While I'm waiting for the scanner to stop misbehaveing, I thought I'd post some older pictures of our most recent snowstorm. The snow is gone now, mide you...but the pictures are neat. PS- BE PREPARED FOR NEW KITTEN PICTURES.... Fatkat Studios The Bridge More Bridge Main Street So when it snow's it really snows...this storm last 3 days of non-stop snowing..... Anyhoo, I'll post in a bit and make sure the new pictures of Sam are up. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
5:08 pm	Neo Toad Well today has been dull as watching paint dry. I had one scene to sync for the entire day...which leads me to believe that people aren't handing in their syncs to us- but rather doing it themselves, and leaving me with no work...Which oddly enough does suck. The key to passing time at work is to either have an assortment of things to amuse you while you do nothing, or have a lot of work related things to do to pass the time by quickly. Since this place is the crack on the ass of life I have neither. I checked ebay 4 times, started and completed a Matte painting in photoshop, surfed the interent....and finally sat down in a chair and sketched doodles. (god they were pathetic! ^_^ ) I spent about an hour there reading and doodling. Normally I'd never do this, I'd ask for work, because I don't like being bitched at, but since the entire senior staff had vanished without saying where, why or when- I figured I had literally nothing better to do. So there I am in the midst of finishing my neo toad drawing, when the "boss" comes up to me and taps me roughly on the shoulder. I put the sketch pad down, and before I could turn to see what he wanted he tapped me again on the shoulder. "Don't have any work to do?" ... "NO, I'm waiting for my scenes....and no one was here to ask about work" .... He didn't even stay to listen to my entire answer...he walked away before I finished. Also he touched me...I don't like that. So now i'm here in my dungeon again, cold, and smelly and loud (fucking computer fan...).... And bitching about work.... Take that Boss-Man! I want to ask him how long he thinks it will take to have his crew lynch him...but I don't like spoiling surprises. Mind you it's not all bad....I get to go home within the next 10 minutes... Anyhoo, not much else to report I wish I could tell all you avid readers that I saw a man on the street singing today with a skirt on or something, but we are a simple folk out here, and live very boring lives. Perhaps a game system and movie will arrive shortly to give our brains something to do.... Then again there are always the kitties. Current Mood: HOME TIME!!! (Comment on this)
Monday, April 18th, 2005
1:06 pm	You've got to be kidding me? ... Last night when the "supervisor" phoned- James' reaction was to immediately talk to the boss. With good reason. The guy shouldn't be phoning our house on a sunday. It's not school, when the principal phones and it's okay, this is a job. Unless you didn't show up during work hours, there is no reason to phone on the weekends. He wasn't going to freak out, but just let the boss know that everyone was working hard and that it was okay for the first week, but it was going to kill everyone if it was a continuous thing. (Pushing mid-70 seconds per animator) For once I went against my usual "kill 'em dead, smoke 'em out!" persona and told James that it was useless to say anything. See I've dealt with the "boss" and "supervisor" before. The stance is and always will be: "Boss takes side of Supervisor, you get fucked." So what's the point? Fast forward to today at 1pm. Staff Meeting. Supervisors brief us for the coming week, Boss steps up to say something: In short it was: You (the workers- excluding supervisors) need to pull it together and manage your time in a more appropriate manor. Staying late and wasting the weekend here could have been avoided. You need to set up a schedule for yourselves, and stick to it. Translation: You fuckers weren't working last week, and you dicked around. That's way you wasted your weekend here, and it's no one's fault but your own. You wouldn't have had to stay late if you had been working. As this pompous asshole was spouting the bullshit I looked over at James, I knew he was thinking the exact same thing I was. "sit on it and rotate...and maybe bleed a little." THE ENTIRE CREW WAS HERE THIS WEEKEND WORKING OUT ASSES OFF FOR THIS FUCKED UP COMPANY! NOT TO MENTION THAT LAST WEEK WASN'T EVEN A FULL WEEK- WE GOT OUR WORK ON TUESDAY NIGHT...SO TECHNICALLY WEDNESDAY..AND THE LIPSYNCERS (MYSELF AND ANOTHER LADY) GOT OUR WORK MID-THURSDAY! So, like I said, what would be the point for making sense to someone who can't see past the end of their own nose. Oh, and one last thing- we've been told to keep our opinions to ourselves if we have problems or complaints, and I quote: "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all" It's a good thing we're working by the ideals of a 1950's cartoon rabbit. Current Mood: enraged Current Music: Ballroom Blitz (1 Comment |Comment on this)
11:43 am	Too much water Well it's Monday again. Funny though, it's not like it mattered because James and I were both here on Saturday and Sunday working. Mind you James was here a hell of a lot longer than I was. But still- so much for a freakin' weekend. James, I think is becoming more and more discontent with this job, and I am my usual "fuck this place" self. The bad part is that James I think is genuinely disappointed that this didn't turn out better. And that makes me sad. He deserves to have an awesome job. I think it boils down to: first job in the industry = Fatkat Industry Whore and New Brunswick / butt-fuck nowhere = Miss Vancouver- Where real people live Fatkat is the industry whore of animation on this continent. We pay cheap wages and take work for nothing. It's kinda what to expect when getting your foot in the door, but things have gone slightly downhill from there. Our supervisor phoned us last night at 10:30 pm asking for James. He wanted to know if James was coming into work...that night...that SUNDAY night. Uhhhh, this is after, by the way, James had come home from working there for 8 hrs. ON A WEEKEND. PS- no overtime. So James had to go in and work until 3am. Yes....what a load of fucking bullshit that was. Well anyways, I've already had my quams with this place, but James seems to be taking a bit of a beating now too. Uggg, well in the end of it all, I still say that is was worth the move and the bullshit, because we both have experience now, and I have my foot in the door now too if I so desire. So it was worth it. I figure you can only go up from here, and that is something to look forward to to. I'm trying to keep a good mind about this. One day we'll get back to Vancouver...we might just have to hop a few provinces to do so. And then we can say that we traveled across Canada...it's a good story. Anyhoo, Pictures of Sam-Sam the new kitty are on their way. Current Mood: okay Current Music: He Needs Me - Popeye Soundtrack (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 12th, 2005
3:10 pm	Sick Day I'm risking a beating from James to update my journal....Meh. :D Last two days I've been absent from work. Yesterday I wasn't feeling my best, but was in all honesty staying home for my new baby kitten. Ivy hasn't taken to him, and insists on hissing, growling, and beating him on the head. Course you need a moderator- So I decided to stay home. Today, on the other hand is a different story. In woke up last night at 12am with a skull splitting migraine. Now never experiencing a migrain before I was blown away by the pain. I woke poor James up and asked him to grab the advil. 4 pills later I was still in agony and my hunny stayed awake with me and rubbed my poor aching noggin'. I woke up to turn off the alarm but fell back asleep, when I woke up there was a note from James telling me to stay in bed, and sleep. He's such a sweetie. So I've slept most of the day, only getting up to use the facilities or have a few bites of a bagel and some tea. Sam and Ivy are keeping me company until James gets home. Sam is a little suck for attention and howls...(well actually he sounds like a baby bird when he crys...he squawks)for me to hold him. Ivy has suspended her hissing & growling to just beating poor Sam. He is being a trooper, but has sustained a fair few slaws to his little head (mind you Ivy tends o keep her claws in, so it's just paw)He really is quit a cutie though, and of course pictures wll ensue as soon as we get them developed. His extra toes make him look silly when he walks, but he has heart. Since the first day we brought him home he's had no fear of our other grumpy cat. He runs right up to her and pounces on her tail...I think he's keeps up the hope that one day she'll want to play with him. Anyhoo I must be getting back to bed, my eyes hurt from the daylight, and my neck is straining. Jesus i'm a friggin' wreck. My health has deteriorated since moving here....maybe a bit before then actually. But still I'm not even 20 this isn't good. Love ya and leave ya kids, Current Mood: sick (Comment on this)
Friday, April 8th, 2005
2:54 pm	Arrogance is Bliss Fuckers. What a shit hole this is. The biggest egotistical, arrogant fucks in the world couldn't sink this place down to the depths of the ocean- Though it's not for a lack of trying. What misery resides here. I've met the most unfriendly, untrustworthy, arrogant people. I'm very lonely here. I have no friends. Not that I haven't tried. It's just hard to relate to a bunch of arrogant animators who like to hear the sound of their own voices- or are too busy trying to climb the latter to notice the people the knock down. Just a little observation. I guess I'm having a hard time finding the "bright side" of things when my job is being dangled in front of me by the almighty boss, while being alone with no friends and feeling like this truly is the end of the world. What does money matter, when you can't spend it? What does traveling matter when you can't go anywhere it? What the fuck does anything matter... Arrogance is bliss. And what the hell was up with 'Open Water'? Current Mood: sad (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 16th, 2005
12:28 pm	Armed and Dangerous Congratulations! You scored 84%! You made it out, alive and well supplied. You probably even kept most of your party alive too. You know what to look for, what to take, and when to just run. You even feel a strange inkling to go back. If you did, you'd probably do just fine. My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on survivalpoints Yay, I'll live in the event of a Zombie Take-over! Current Mood: chipper (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 15th, 2005
11:30 am	......kitty soft...... Okay, so which one of you dingbats phoned us at 12 in the morning??? Meh, it's okay- just next time remember that we have a 4 hour difference. James couldn't wrap his mind around the name of the person who phoned us- so if you're out there mysery person, hello. Work is dull an I am grumpy. I want another weekend so I can sleep and cuddle with kitty, she is pleasant and soft. Current Mood: grumpy (Comment on this)